How our story began...
Boy was this a crazy day. To be completely honest, I am not sure if I really remember what happened or I just remember what I've heard, but either way... Here it goes.
I started noticing something was "different" about two nights before Sophie was born. We were getting her room ready and I just happened to sit on the floor and look at my legs, they were HUGE! Until then, I wasn't even really showing. I mean, you could tell my belly was growing, but nothing really major. That night, it was really hard to fall asleep. Nothing was comfortable and everything was bothering me.
January 9, I woke up, exactly 25 weeks. My husband left for work and I stayed home as usual. Once again, something just wasn't right. My parents didn't live very far so I decided to spend some time over there. As soon as I walk into the house my mom noticed something was wrong. Being pregnant for the first time I didn't know what to except and what was normal. I insisted I was just having a bad day and for her to leave me alone. My husband had to work that night and for some reason I just couldn't go home alone. After being at my mom’s the whole day, I asked my little sister to come over with and spend the night.
That night was the worse night of my life; Sophie went from doing jumping jacks in my stomach to barely moving. I stayed up most of the night waiting for her to move like her normal, but all I got was little tiny movements. Before falling asleep, I decided that I would call my doctor first thing in the morning. After hours and hours eventually I dozed off and woke up around 11 in the morning.
First thing I remember that morning is lying in bed waiting for a movement, a sign, anything. By this point I was so scared, but telling someone would mean it was real and I wished and prayed to God it wasn't real. I got up from bed to go to the bathroom, right before getting to the door; I had to walk in front of a mirror. Man was I shocked at what I saw looking back at me. For lack of better words, I was unrecognizable. It looked like I had gained about 20lbs overnight and my face was the size of a pumpkin. (No joke) I immediately picked up the phone and called my doctor.
January 10, 2010.It was a Sunday. I spoke with the on-call nurse and told her everything, how swollen and huge I was, how I didn't feel Sophie kick all night and how I just didn't feel normal. She told me to go to the emergency room and they would wait for me there, just to make sure everything was OK.
I got off the phone and called my mom, my mom is the type who worries about any and everything so she insisted in picking me up and come with me. The minute she saw me, she started crying and freaking out. It really was that bad. I was dying inside, but I held it together, "because if I said it out loud it might come true!"
So here we went my mom, husband, sister and me to the hospital. As we got there, my mom and I went inside as my husband went to go park the car. Just as they said, they were waiting and I was brought up to the maternity wing.
25 weeks and 1 day!
They did all the normal things; asked me to change and I did, than they put the heart monitor band on me and everything seemed normal. Heartbeat was as normal as the Wednesday before at my check-up. I remember telling my mom "we should be out of here soon, seems everything is OK." Just as I close my mouth, here comes the nurse to check my blood pressure. 191/98, for those that might not know normal is 120/80. Yes, this was ridiculous high. As soon as they saw those numbers everyone went into panic mode.
From here things get a little blurry. I remember them trying to get me on an IV, but couldn't find a vein. AT ALL. They must have tried about 20 times and nothing. I could tell this wasn't normal and started to get a little worried, but they kept trying to calm me down. In the meanwhile, my husband couldn't find where we were and has no idea of what if going on. In a matter of about 5 minutes my room was flooded with all sorts of nurses and doctors. They start to prep me for an ultrasound and nothing. No movement. A few minutes later we try again, and one more time, nothing. All of a sudden, here walks in my doctor in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. As soon as I saw him, I knew how bad things were. He comes and attempts another ultrasound, he is pushing and tugging at my belly and whispering “c’mon little girl, just one sign you’re ok, once again, not one movement. He looks at me and says "sweety, you are going to have a C-section." All I could say was no, I’m not ready, she's not ready. I couldn't control myself or stop crying. I was shaking so bad the whole bed was moving.
Here walks in my poor husband not knowing a thing. He talks to the doctor and I see it in his eyes how scared he is. My poor mom, I can't even imagine how she felt seeing me at that moment. She was trying to be strong for me, but at that time there was no strength.
In all this madness, I am sticking to my guns and protesting, "She isn't ready, not today, not yet." The doctor looks at me and says "we are no longer trying to save the baby, all we want is to keep you alive." My heart sank to stomach and I thought I was going to die; this just couldn't me happening to me. How can it be?
I am sure more time than I remember had passed, but to me it seemed like just a few minutes before they were pushing me into surgery. Somehow, my dad and the rest of my family had arrived at the hospital along with my husband’s mom. As I am rolled out of one room and into surgery, I see everyone's worried face and tears. All I could think was how can’t this be happening to me?
We get into the operating room and I need to be prepped for surgery. Getting me ready for anesthesia was horrible. For one I couldn’t stop shaking, I just couldn’t help it. Four nurses were holding me, but I would still shake uncontrollably. Eventually, somehow it worked. I didn’t feel anything; my body was completely numb with shock. They lay me down and I just can’t believe everything that is going on. Soon my husband walks in.
With some kind of tweezers, they pinch my stomach and ask me if I know what they just did. “Yes, you pinched my stomach with something.” They advise the anesthesiologist to give me a little bit more of “whatever it was.” They ask me again, once I again I have the same answer. Yes, I did feel it. They tell me I can’t be feeling ‘that much pain and they can’t wait anymore.’ I immediately start crying, what happens next I will never forget. First, I hear the doctor say “we will need to make a vertical incision.” In my head all I am thinking is how I will have scars everywhere. Inside and out. Than they actually make the incision and to make this as non-graphic as possible, let’s just say, I felt EVERYTHING! I am screaming and yelling and honestly think I am about to die. Why weren’t they listening to me, why weren’t they stopping or giving me something stronger for pain? I look up and I see blood gushing everywhere. I try to look to the side, but between the pain and how scared I was nothing worked. I felt everything and saw everything. To me it was the end, and to think no one even knew if I would have my baby at the end of everything.
The next thing I remember was how quiet it got, she had been born.
January 10, 2012 at 1:41pm 1lbs 6oz. (A Pound Of Miracle)
Sophie Rylee Rumble
This was the first picture taken after she was born.
I didn’t hear anything, for some reason I assumed she would cry. Nothing, I look at my husband and he is crying. He says “She is so tiny.” Before I could even react, they had rushed her out of the room.
Once again it’s a blur to me. What seemed like a few minutes again, I was later told it was almost an hour. They took my husband out of the room and the next thing I remember is going into the recovery room.
They tell me they are going to start treating me for preeclampsia. They will be starting me on a 24 hour magnesium drip and man was this horrible. I am already not fully aware as it is, as soon as I am put on this medicine; everything just seems to fade away. I am there mentally, but my body is completely gone.
My family got to see Sophie for a few minutes, but I didn’t. Than a doctor I hadn’t seen before comes in. Because preeclampsia is caused by high blood pressure and stress can raise your blood pressure, I wasn’t allowed to have anyone in the room with me. As soon as this doctor comes in, here comes everyone else. Here we go again, what now? The doctor came in to inform me that Sophie had to be moved to a different hospital. Now remember, I can’t move, speak or ask any questions. I lay there motionless and just cry. He explains to me that Yale (where she would be going) would the best place for her. They tell me I will be going there once my blood pressure is normal and I could call as many times as I wanted to check on her.
I mean, if you are a mom than you could imagine how this sounded like to me. I just had a baby I didn’t even get to see and now they are taking her away. I knew it would be best, but who’s thinking logic at that time? Not me.
Since no one could be in the room, and by this time it had been all day, my family would be going home for now. Since my mom had driven us to the hospital, Shannon had to go as well to get our car. This met I would be left alone for about 40 minutes. I didn’t care. I just wasn’t ready for what would happen next. Here I am in this room, alone, and as soon as everyone leaves, they bring Sophie in to say goodbye before going to Yale.
This tiny little thing, all bundled up with wires and beeping noises everywhere. They had her in an incubator and tied up and ready to go. Since I couldn't move, they brought her as close to me as they could, and reached my arm out to touch her. Her entire little foot was smaller than my pinky finger.
These foot prints were made on the back of a flashcard before she was rushed to Yale.
I ended up staying in the hospital for nine days, because I wasn't in any more danger, my insurance wouldn't cover for me to be moved to Yale. The first three I couldn't moved at all on my own. The rest of the time I was too scared to go home with my baby. All I did, day and night was cry. I would call Yale every hour of the day to the point they recognized my voice. How thankful I am to those nurses. They were angels sent to me at such a difficult time. They would explain the same thing to me over and over and never complain. Some days Sophie would do better than other, gain one ounce, have a bowl movement and lose 2 ounces. One step forward, two steps back. Ten days later I was able to go see Sophie.
God was always with us. Every minute, every second. I stayed at Yale for hours and hours.
42 days later walked into NICU and Sophie wasn't there. My legs couldn't move, my throat closed up. I didn't know what to do or think. God was there as always. Overnight Sophie had gained the last 2 ounces and was now 2 1/2 pounds, she had now graduated to the big kid room. In here things started to get a little bit easier. Another month goes by and than another. Day by day Sophie is growing a little bit more.
103 days later at exactly 4lbs 1oz Sophie comes home.
Stay tuned for life after NICU!
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